Most decisions in life are split second. They are sometimes ephemeral yet immensely consequential. They often break hearts. Sometimes, they screw up complete lives. Few other times, they turn inherently impotent and infertile lands into reserves of unimaginable potential and sources of immeasurable wealth. Some other times, when dogs reign over people's luck realms and fortune empires, decisions of magnanimous proportions end up being damp squibs of pacific inconsequence. Why do, at these extremely unfortunate times, men and women of generally respectable cranial capacities commit dangerously insane blunders? Why? Why do we humans with immaculate mathematical skills fail at decision making with intense shamelessness?
Or is it just me out of this whole world of human beings, cats and dogs? Does everyone else make the right decisions? Am I the nincompoop? The imbecile one?
May be yes, may be not. It was a coin's question but the verdict was to be given three months later, for the decision was already made. I made my mind. I had to do it. The decision was not a sentimental one. Far from it. Neither was it emotional. It was sparsely rational too. And no part of it was judgemental. Then what kind of decision was it? Purely instinctive. Since the time my umblical cord was safely detached and stashed away in a high security, high priority, high voltage, cold storage DNA Bank for fear of losing a born winner to congenital defects, ( I only always wish this happened), I never have had the fortune of experiencing the distinctly egoistic and extortionist feeling that seeps through your nerves when instinctive decisions are made by the self. For example, one where you rise your head in pride and laugh in rage after you secretly and quite violently tear open the rubber ball of your neighborhood kid who you know plays better cricket than you did when you were of his age. Instinctive decision. Ain't it?
This decision too was similar. I decided to write the Civil Services Preliminary Examination 2011. It is tension when you write an exam for the first time. You are an epitome of FAIL if you are writing it for the second time. But to write an exam which you have already passed, you become either a paragon of exceedingly surplus energy or completely weighed down boredom. Can be both.
The centre this year, was the V S Krishna Government Degree College. My fateful college, here I come.
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